I find that writing things down is therapy for me. This was written several days ago, and I debated about whether or not to post it...but I'm gonna. So here was my encouragement to myself. :) It's rather dis-jointed, but oh, well. I don't have time to write an essay...here's some scattered thoughts...It's amazing how a few hours away from home, makes me miss it so much! If I'm out, I love coming home! Today I started my day w/ a new perspective of who I am. I am not "just a wife and a mom" Rather, my career and professional position is "Wife and Mother"--that's a much more positive twist. It seriously kept me enthusiastic about my "job" all day long! :) (hee) Lots of people invest lots of their time and energy into their career. I have chosen to make my investment is in my husband and my children. They are where my time and energy (and $$$) is focused. I truly believe I was created for this work. It is THE most fulfilling job I could ever ask for! It's not that I never do other things--we don't stop being a daughter, sister, friend, wife...once we become a mother--but being a wife and a mom comes 1st. Contrary to what modern culture tells us, being a wife, mom, and "domestic engineer" is noble work, actually it's more than that, it's an eternal work! And, I might add, that's it's full-time work! This job of mine, profession, rather, is the hardest one I've ever had. And, I've done my fair share of what I deem, "hard work" :) All other jobs I've had, had an end. Motherhood has no end. My "job" isn't over at 5 p.m., or when the sun goes down...I'm on call 24/7!
I've had 3 excellent examples of Professional Mothers in my life. They came in the form of my own Mom, and my 2 Grandmas. When I think of successful women, they pop into my mind first. (there are others, of course) They are successful in my book, because they are godly women who chose each day to put others ahead of themselves. They have lived out the scripture that says, "But whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister; and whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all." (Mark 10:43-44) It's an unnatural and uncommon way to live: to be great, be a servant/ die to SELF in order to truly live. I believe that the women (and men) who have chosen to live in this way, possess great strength and the key to a blessed life. Selflessness takes great sacrifice, but it is the pathway to peace and joy. All done for Jesus, that is.
My Mom sometimes laments that she doesn't have any talent or hobbies. Well, I will say, I believe she just doesn't
see her greatest talents. She is a wonderful nurturer, organizer :), and teacher. Maybe she will see it in time, but maybe not. I believe all of us kids were all better off for not having a Mom with lots of hobbies and outside interests. I'll have to remind her that WE were her hobby and her interest. :) She was there for us 100%, and still is, though in a different way. Her position is changing perhaps, from being "the nurturer" to being "the prayer warrior" :) Each equally important!
I was pondering how motherhood carries such a dichotomy! On the one hand, it's the hardest job I've ever had, but yet it is the most rewarding one I've ever had. It's the most painful thing I've ever experienced (in many ways), but yet, I'm willing to subject myself to the pain, because I know the fruits of reward there are. There is less and less time for Self, but that's a good thing! I've never known such depths of love, fear, protection, and pain, but somehow there's that desire to know those depths. Motherhood brings out the best and the worst. I've never experienced such excruciating sleep deprivation until I had a 2 year old, an infant who wasn't sleeping through the night, and was pregnant w/ horrible insomnia. (**sidenote: whew! but I did actually live to tell the story! I've never heard of anyone dying from sleep deprivation, although I sometimes wondered it I would. Lack of sleep is a VERY real thing when you're the one going through it!**)After becoming a mom, there's some kind of mechanism that causes you to forget the pain of labor and delivery (oh, and sleep deprivation)---how is that? I don't think I'll ever grow out of the desire for pregancy and babies...it's a subject of interest that I don't think will dissipate, since experiencing both of those joys. Motherhood is a refining fire, a perspective change, and a tool used by God to raise up more saints.
It's so easy to get bogged down in the daily grind, and not see the forest for the trees. In about 20-25 years, my kids will be grown-ups like me, and although I'll still be their mother, I'll also be their sister-in -Christ...Lord willing, for all eternity. Oh, to have the perspective that these babies of mine will be adults furthuring God's Kingdom. The thought of being a Mother, by Profession has added a bit of sparkle to this otherwise, very grey November Monday. The promise in Prov. 22:6 has such hope and such responsibility..."Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Today I'm spurred on to train my children in God's ways and to view my work as a high and holy calling, as long as it's done unto the Lord. So, there, I've written down some of my scattered thoughts. I need to come back to this when I'm having what I call, "A Crazy Day!" This is an encouragement to myself, and a documentation that I do have some time to think....some days. :)
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